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Monday, 4 April 2016

Does Lack of Self-Confidence Hold You Back?

Recently, I was very fortunate to be interviewed about my novels and life as a writer by Merrie Housden from www.theinspiredwriters.com One of her questions was, 'What advice would you give to aspiring writers?' This was my answer:-

'I remember when I wrote my first book I was quite scared because it seemed such a mammoth undertaking. I knew what I wanted to write, and the emotions I wanted to convey. My advice would be, 'Have faith in yourself. Believe you can do it and you will. Don't give up, no matter what. Read loads, and remember, every single word you type on the page is one word closer to the end. Good luck'.'

I thought about it afterwards and I realised it's so much easier said than done. One of the things I said was, 'Believe in yourself'. Well, okay, everyone says that to other people. But what does it actually mean? Here is a quote by E.E. Cummings, a poet who wrote, 'I Carry Your Heart with Me'.

'Once we believe in ourselves we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit.'

We all experience fear of failure, and self doubt. Unfortunately, those two interlopers usually hit when we're about to embark on something new, perhaps something out of our comfort zone. I've been a writer for more years than I care to admit, yet I didn't put my creative work out until quite recently. When I examined the reasons for not doing so, I realised it was fear of ridicule or criticism from agents, publishers and peers. And of course, readers.

In the last two years I've released three novels and two novellas, two written some time ago. I'm currently writing two full-length novels in two series that I've created. Why did I suddenly decide to put my fears behind me and get on with it? I can remember the day I decided to go for it. And I know why I made that decision.

Time doesn't stand still. The older we get, the more swiftly time passes. Or so it seems. We should stretch our abilities, our passions, and our desire to achieve. Stretch them as far as they will go. Why? Because through the centuries, if others hadn't pushed themselves to do more, to discover more, to try more, nothing would have been achieved. 

Don't get me wrong. It's scary sometimes. When I'm about to publish something or send a query to an agent or publisher, I hesitate to tell you how long my finger hovers over the 'send' key. Once, when I was doing just that, my daughter came into my office and without warning pushed my finger down on the key. It was very funny and we laughed...a lot, even though I couldn't believe what she'd done. But she was right. I was hesitating, and hesitation doesn't get anything done.

I'm not an expert on how to cure lack of confidence or self-esteem. I know how it feels to be scared to have the courage of my convictions. There are still times when my resolve shakes because I'm aware my writing abilities are being put on the line. In some ways, putting our work out into the universe is an invitation for others to have negative opinions, but I've had some wonderful feedback from readers, and it's those comments that keep me writing and encourage me to invent new stories and exciting characters. I don't want to look back and regret that I didn't press the 'send' key.

Lots of love 
Valentina

3 comments:

Tanya Lynne Reimer said...

Awesome that you pushed pass this! I am always humbled by my craft. It will never be as good as I see it in my mind's eye but instead of letting it hold me back, I use it to grow. I hit send because I know there are talented agents, editors and publishers out there I can learn from. Sounds silly, but if I hit send, I might get to work with one!

Valentina Hepburn said...

Loving the photo, Tanya xx

Miranda said...

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